wow . . .

2 blog moms are OUT and have their Embassy appointments next week : Melissa and Shannon. CONGRATULATIONS to them!!!!! news of their upcoming travels on Friday has got me thinking about what it might feel like when we receive our news. honestly i can't even imagine. i think it might be one of those times when everything flies by in a flash and when it's over i can barely remember it . . . actually i'm afraid of that . . . so i'm going to make it a POINT to try really REALLY hard to relax and ENJOY every moment. i'm going to try to soak it all up. i'm not going to lie, i'm TERRIFIED. i'm afraid i won't know what to do. most of all i'm afraid she won't like me. i know that's silly, but it's true. sometimes i feel like this entire process is so odd. i have a nursery and all this baby stuff, but no big belly and no baby . . . then one day i'm going to fly to a foreign country and someone is going to hand me stella. and she will be mine. forever. and i can not wait for that day. but at the same time it is very scary. i'm trying to mentally prepare myself, but since i've never done this before i don't have a clue. writing it like i just did makes it all sound so simple. which OBVIOUSLY it is NOT. this has been the single most difficult thing in my life this far. but i still feel blessed for the experience. each day can bring on a completely new emotion. the days are so hard sometimes. sometimes i don't want to get out of bed. i just want to lay there and feel sorry for myself. but then i get mad. mad at myself for feeling that way. i've just had a rough time this week. today feels like it will never end. i honestly though once we were in pgn that the waiting would feel just like all the waiting before. but it doesn't. it feel totally different. in all the earlier steps i was fine. well, maybe not FINE, but i was handling it ok. now that we are in pgn i am counting days and weeks. and they are going SO
S-L-O-W as a result. why is this wait so much more difficult???

BACK IN!!!

YAY! we were entered back into pgn today. PROGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just did a happy dance :)

Kicked Out and other notions . . .

case update : we were kicked out of pgn on 12 Nov. it's actually a good thing. i would much rather get kicked out NOW rather than sit in pgn for 8 weeks KNOWING one is coming and lose all that time. there were 3 objections. no pre-approval (that's what we knew was coming), a correction in one of the notorial deeds (they said this is an easy fix), and an updated medical on stella. so all these fixes will be done in guatemala and then we will be entered back into pgn. and then we wait again. wait wait wait. i feel like that's all we do.

in other news : stella turned 8 months old on saturday. happy birthday sweet girl. we will be there soon to get you. we love you!

final notion : happy birthday to me! my birthday was yesterday. i've officially begun my final 20th year. not sure how i feel about that. i think ok until i turn 30. i'm so not where i thought i would be at 30. not exactly sure where that is, but i know it's not here. but that's another story for another time.

8 interesting things. . .

i was tagged by Melissa today : 8 interesting things about me. not sure how interesting they are, but she asked for it!

1 : mushrooms are my all-time FAVORITE food. i can eat them any time of day and fixed in any matter. even raw. i love to take a raw mushroom and squish some shredded cheese on top and shove it in my mouth. Y-U-M-M-Y!

2 : orange juice goes with EVERYTHING. growing up it was pretty much the only thing i drank. i drank it with breakfast / lunch / dinner / snacks. i LOVE LOVE LOVE orange juice with chocolate. actually if i'm eating anything chocolate i crave orange juice. i know, it's a wierd combination. my husband (even after YEARS of this) is grossed out everytime.

3 : i am an only child. and it only took me a few years to figure out that i LOVE being an only child. even though i want a large family myself i can not imagine growing up any differently. i have the most amazing parents ever. i am still spoiled to this very day.

4 : i was in the band in high school. i played the flute and during football season i was a majorette and twirled a baton in sequin bathing suits at half-time. those were the days.

5 : i have an art degree. i started college in the architecture program, which is where i met my husband. but eventually decided to change majors. i do have my minor in architecture though. sometimes i wish i had stayed in it just so i would have had a difinitive career path. now i just work. no real career. although i don't really like the word career. it's so FINAL. like you don't have the option to change. i like to keep my options open. in all aspects of life. the happy, quirky little surprises along the way are what keep me going.


6 : my favorite place on earth is the beach. my parents and i have been going to florida (destin area) every summer since i was 6 years old. so it's almost like a second home to me. we have watched it grow from nothing more than a few hotels and mostly little houses on the beach to a booming touristy place with tons of high rise condos. it's wierd how much and how FAST it has changed. sometimes we talk about going somewhere else that isn't so busy, but we've been going there SO long it's difficult to imagine going somewhere else! michael & i went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon. LOVED it there. i adore the beach. i can't wait to take stella.


7 : i have a slight infatuation with hands. it is the first thing i look at on a person. any person. i have no idea why. grimy fingernails GROSS me out. but i still have to look. hands tell you so much about a person. i love to watch people who talk with their hands. sometimes if i'm around someone who does this i notice myself picking up their manerisms. odd but true.

8 : i absolutely HATE going to the grocery store. and i don't really enjoy cooking. i LOVE to bake, but not cook. this works out ok though because my husband just happens to be a FABULOUS cook and he enjoys it and does all (or almost all) of our grocery shopping. yep, i'm a VERY lucky girl. the downside to this is that when he is gone for even a day i revert back to college food. NEVER a good thing at my age :) but he always comes to my rescue. eventually.

EDITED : to tag Telissa

nothing.

well, i've received no updates. so i'm just going to assume that no news is good news and that we are still in pgn. why does this part of the wait seem so much more excruciating than any of our other waits? partly it's because i know she is getting older by the second and we are missing that many more milestones. stella will be 8 months old on dec 1. at this point i think we will be lucky to have her by her 1st birthday. that makes me sad. i think if we don't have her by then i might LOSE IT. not to mention we will have more paperwork problems before that point with things expiring. so those pgn reviewers need to HURRY UP. seriously.

we received a video of miss stella night before last. she is getting so big. on one hand i love getting to see her in action. on the other hand it makes the waiting that much more difficult.

today i'm just sad. today there is no light at the end of the tunnel. i just want my daughter.

couples shower pictures from 11/10/07

Finally : shower photos. Enjoy. We certianly did.

This is the beginning of the evening. Sitting around the dining room table having early cocktails.

Here are my parents after playing the HARDEST word scramble game EVER!!! We ALL needed a drink after that one!!!

Michael's parents playing our second game. We all had to put a paper plate on our heads and draw a baby face. Then we all voted on the winner. It was a really cute game!

Michael trying on his diaper changing tool belt. Gotta love a man who is prepared.

Just us opening presents.

Michael G . Jess . Me . Michael at the end of the evening. They threw us the most fabulous couples baby shower EVER. Yes, we love them. And we like to think they love us too!

My Jilli and I at the very end of the night just before our fabulous game of scrabble and halfway into our bottle of wine.

Jill the next morning. Sleeping off our bottle (and then some) of wine with Mater.

This is my with my parents right before they headed home the next afternoon.

The shower was so much fun. It was relaxed and we had so much fun with everyone! Thank you to Michael & Jess for throwing it. Thank you to everyone who took the time to join us and celebrate Miss Stella! We can't wait for you all to meet her!

YAY!

pre-approval : check.
finally.
maybe they can get it added to our file before we get kicked out of pgn for not having it . . .

i know i still need to post shower pictures . . . i'm working on it . . . just haven't felt motivated to do it for some reason.