2007

Christmas was wonderful. we went to Arkansas to spend the holiday with my family. i love this time of year. (minus the cold and wind and snow and ice - it would be perfect in the sun on the beach in summer!!!) i loved almost every minute of it - if only Stella were home.

well, this year has come and is almost gone. the holidays have been a little difficult because when we began this adoption journey we thought she would be home by Christmas. each passing milestone becomes that much more difficult because last year we both said it was our last _____ without Stella with big ole grins on our faces. and yet, here we are again. the emptiness i feel is impossible for the average person the understand. if you haven't been though what i've been through, you can't do or say ANYTHING to make it better. i just want my daughter. i feel like i've been beyond patient. especially considering i have NO patience!!! i'm tired of this entire thing being out of my control. i am tired of everything. this has been a very rough year for me personally, financially, and in every other way imaginable. i'm ready for it to be OVER. and good riddance. 2008 will be better.

busy busy

well, today we have been in pgn (this go round) for 2 weeks. approximately 6 weeks to go until we are out . . . . . . . hopefully . . . . . . if all goes well.

courtney and stella are OUT of pgn. CONGRATULATIONS to them :) i know courtney and rich are SO ready to get their girl, so i am praying for a SUPER FAST pink!!!

also, Telissa and Mariela, as well as Jennifer and Shiloh are in pgn :) FINALLY!!! congrats to them!!! hopefully we can all meet in the mala :)

that's all i've got on the adoption front.

last saturday we had our second annual theworkshop 308 holiday party. it was lovely. we hosted a dinner party at our home for a small group of friends. we had such a good time :)

this is the dining room right before everyone arrived.

this was taken during the cocktail hour before dinner.

and during dinner. there's nothing like a yummy dinner, lots of wine and good company to warm your soul.

this was a fabulous night for us. last year was our first 308 holiday party and there were only 4 of us present. this year there were 10 of us. it even snowed : just for us. we have amazing friends that wholly support us and we are thankful for each and every one. after dinner we treated everyone to desert and coffee at the amazing new coffee shop theworkshop 308 just finished. it's called The Coffee Ethic. the guys designed and built all their fixtures and they are nothing short of spactacular. plus, the coffee is amazing!

just thought i'd share. it's been a good year. although having stella home would have made that much better.

photos!

we received new photos today that were taken on December 10. just when i need a pick-me-up they are in my email :) i normally only post 1 on the blog, but this time we got more than usual. plus, she is just too adorable for only 1!

this is the outfit we sent down for her! i thought for SURE she had outgrown it as it is a 3-6 months and she weighs 18 pounds!!! that just goes to show how little i know! so she is in the outfit we sent and sitting on the blanket we sent! that makes me smile :)

do you see my 2 bottom teeth?!?!?!

mommy and daddy, i'm SO annoyed you aren't here yet!!!

don't worry miss stella! we are hoping and praying and BEGGING that we are there very VERY SOON! we LOVE you so very much!

medical update:

Miss Stella went to the doctor yesterday. she weighs 18 lbs 8 oz and is 68 cm tall. she is healthy, active, sits well, rolls over and stands. i wish i could freeze her until time to go to Guatemala. i'm DYING for news on our pgn status . . . but am holding out. i'm just going to keep myself busy.

wow . . .

2 blog moms are OUT and have their Embassy appointments next week : Melissa and Shannon. CONGRATULATIONS to them!!!!! news of their upcoming travels on Friday has got me thinking about what it might feel like when we receive our news. honestly i can't even imagine. i think it might be one of those times when everything flies by in a flash and when it's over i can barely remember it . . . actually i'm afraid of that . . . so i'm going to make it a POINT to try really REALLY hard to relax and ENJOY every moment. i'm going to try to soak it all up. i'm not going to lie, i'm TERRIFIED. i'm afraid i won't know what to do. most of all i'm afraid she won't like me. i know that's silly, but it's true. sometimes i feel like this entire process is so odd. i have a nursery and all this baby stuff, but no big belly and no baby . . . then one day i'm going to fly to a foreign country and someone is going to hand me stella. and she will be mine. forever. and i can not wait for that day. but at the same time it is very scary. i'm trying to mentally prepare myself, but since i've never done this before i don't have a clue. writing it like i just did makes it all sound so simple. which OBVIOUSLY it is NOT. this has been the single most difficult thing in my life this far. but i still feel blessed for the experience. each day can bring on a completely new emotion. the days are so hard sometimes. sometimes i don't want to get out of bed. i just want to lay there and feel sorry for myself. but then i get mad. mad at myself for feeling that way. i've just had a rough time this week. today feels like it will never end. i honestly though once we were in pgn that the waiting would feel just like all the waiting before. but it doesn't. it feel totally different. in all the earlier steps i was fine. well, maybe not FINE, but i was handling it ok. now that we are in pgn i am counting days and weeks. and they are going SO
S-L-O-W as a result. why is this wait so much more difficult???

BACK IN!!!

YAY! we were entered back into pgn today. PROGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just did a happy dance :)

Kicked Out and other notions . . .

case update : we were kicked out of pgn on 12 Nov. it's actually a good thing. i would much rather get kicked out NOW rather than sit in pgn for 8 weeks KNOWING one is coming and lose all that time. there were 3 objections. no pre-approval (that's what we knew was coming), a correction in one of the notorial deeds (they said this is an easy fix), and an updated medical on stella. so all these fixes will be done in guatemala and then we will be entered back into pgn. and then we wait again. wait wait wait. i feel like that's all we do.

in other news : stella turned 8 months old on saturday. happy birthday sweet girl. we will be there soon to get you. we love you!

final notion : happy birthday to me! my birthday was yesterday. i've officially begun my final 20th year. not sure how i feel about that. i think ok until i turn 30. i'm so not where i thought i would be at 30. not exactly sure where that is, but i know it's not here. but that's another story for another time.