so the anticipation is starting to get to me. at first i wasn't really all that excited because it still doesn't feel real. we have been trying to have a baby for about 4 years. now, all the sudden, after alllllllll this waiting, we are down to TEN DAYS. that is just the weirdest feeling ever. i can't even explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it. i honestly think in my darkest deepest soul that i was beginning to believe we were never going to have a child. and yes, it is a dark deep place that i would rather not visit again, thank you very much.
last night i pulled out most of stella's stuff we are taking with us and started a list of little things we have left to buy this weekend. i also made the list of things we need to get DONE this weekend. i am a little daunted that in TEN DAYS our lives will be forever changed. michael and i have been 'officially' together for 8 years and married for 5 (almost 6) of those years. that's a long time with just the 2 of us in our own little happy world. now, it will be stella's world. we are totally excited about that, it will just (obviously) be an adjustment for us. but as the title of this post indicates . . . we are ready.
i couldn't sleep last night just thinking of stella. i so afraid of so many things. i'm afraid she won't like me. now THAT is something only another adoptive mom could say and definately something i never thought i would worry about. yet here i am. i also am terrified that i will not have any patience with her. i used to have ZERO patience, but i like to think that over this LONG wait we've had i grew some. i know i have more than i used to, but i'm still a little nervous about it. i could go on and on about my worries . . . but i think i'm going to try REALLY hard to focus on all the exciting things and try to soak up every second of this crazy thing called life. especially during these moments. we are going to an amazing place to get our first daughter and bring her HOME. it's moments such as these that define the term - significant.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." ~Ferris Bueller
5 comments:
YOU WILL BE FINE!! SHE IS ALREADY IN YOUR HEART AND JUST MOMENTS AWAY FROM BEING IN YOUR ARMS. ENJOY THESE LAST BREATHS AS YOU KNOW IT!!! absolutely thrilled for you guys!!!!!
Momma Nat: As I have noticed your patience has grown in leaps and bounds over the past year + of waiting and hoping for a baby. Patience doesn't come instantly (as I remember in dealing with Michael as a baby) but is given in doses as God sees that you need it. Look through the scriptures and find all the references to patience and take them to heart. This really helps.
This is all too exciting to take in all at once. We are all praying for you and Michael safe & healthful travel,a smooth transition for Stella and a wonderful adventure to Guatemala.
With all our love, Nana Betty and Papaw Keith
Hi Nat, I have followed your blog when I could & wanted to let you know we are also leaving on 3/23 to get our daughter in Guatemala. We are nervous & excited too. I think we will all be fine as soon as our babies are in our arms. Good luck!!!!
p.s. Our daughter's name is Natalie!
Hi, Nat. We too have our embassy appointment on March 25. We are both nervous as well. We have visited her twice but now it is about year since we saw her last. Thought all this would been over earlier, hey all that matters is that she is coming home. Where are you staying? Staying at the Westin. See you at the embassy.
Kathy
THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN!!!! almost one week until you are together!!! yippee!!!! just passing our smiles and love on to you guys!!!
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