ready.

so the anticipation is starting to get to me. at first i wasn't really all that excited because it still doesn't feel real. we have been trying to have a baby for about 4 years. now, all the sudden, after alllllllll this waiting, we are down to TEN DAYS. that is just the weirdest feeling ever. i can't even explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it. i honestly think in my darkest deepest soul that i was beginning to believe we were never going to have a child. and yes, it is a dark deep place that i would rather not visit again, thank you very much.

last night i pulled out most of stella's stuff we are taking with us and started a list of little things we have left to buy this weekend. i also made the list of things we need to get DONE this weekend. i am a little daunted that in TEN DAYS our lives will be forever changed. michael and i have been 'officially' together for 8 years and married for 5 (almost 6) of those years. that's a long time with just the 2 of us in our own little happy world. now, it will be stella's world. we are totally excited about that, it will just (obviously) be an adjustment for us. but as the title of this post indicates . . . we are ready.

i couldn't sleep last night just thinking of stella. i so afraid of so many things. i'm afraid she won't like me. now THAT is something only another adoptive mom could say and definately something i never thought i would worry about. yet here i am. i also am terrified that i will not have any patience with her. i used to have ZERO patience, but i like to think that over this LONG wait we've had i grew some. i know i have more than i used to, but i'm still a little nervous about it. i could go on and on about my worries . . . but i think i'm going to try REALLY hard to focus on all the exciting things and try to soak up every second of this crazy thing called life. especially during these moments. we are going to an amazing place to get our first daughter and bring her HOME. it's moments such as these that define the term - significant.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." ~Ferris Bueller

TRAVEL.

flights - check.
hotel - check.

we are really going. we leave sunday 3/23 and will be home friday 3/28. it was MUCH cheaper for us to fly out of Kansas City, so we will also be in the car for awhile. Who cares though. We are coming HOME. with Stella.

it's about time.

PINK!!!

PINK is what we received this evening. obviously we are beyond excited, but we still feel like it won't feel totally real until we actually have her in our arms. i actually still can't believe we are really going to get her!!! our appt date is March 25. we received the news so late in the day that we haven't yet been able to book flights or hotel. that is on the agenda for tomorrow. Of course i will update as soon as we have anything definate. YAY! we're goin to the mala!!! we will be there for Easter, so PLEASE pray we don't have any trouble getting flights and hotel!!! i can't believe we are REALLY GOING!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!! time to make my LAST list . . .

no pink today.

i'm not really surprised. but i was DEFINATELY hoping. but i KNOW it will come next week :) i have had a really hard time focusing on work since yesterday . . . it's going to be a long few weeks until we go get our stella!!! i can't wait to post our travel news!!! everyone have a LOVELY weekend!

WAITING FOR PINK!!!

wow. this is really going to happen. this month. it has been 13 days since stella's dna sample was taken, so i was getting nervous that something was lost or wrong or who knows. i emailed our caseworker and she found out today that the results were overnighted to the US Embassy on March 3!!! So we are REALLY just waiting on our PINK slip!!! our cw also said right now they are seeing pink slips issued approximately 7 days after dna submittal . . . so it could be ANY time now!!! although after that email i'm thinking it will be next week . . . but STILL . . . this wild and crazy trip is almost over . . . and it is going to have a happy ending!!!

some heavy reflection.

so i've been thinking alot about the choices we have in life. our lives personally have changed drastically over the last 3-4 years. in 2004 we were living in south carolina completely oblivious to the things in store for us. we knew at some point that we wanted to move back to springfield mo to start our family and be closer to our parents. in 2005 we michael started chatting with an old friend from college about a business venture and we dove head first. michael moved here and i stayed behind to sell our house. we went from a comfy 2 income family to a 1 income family. we lived apart for just over 2 months. i finally moved here in early 2006. the first venture ended, but another fabulous opportunity presented itself and we have never looked back. it has not been easy, yet here we are. i keep thinking back to when we did IVF. if it had worked, we probably would not have considered the first opportunity and would not be where we are today. we would not be about to go get stella. we would not have our house. everything would be different. it's just so weird to think about the various roads we can choose to take, and the reasons for the ones we choose. the thing that i've learned is that if you don't take advantage of the opportunities that arise, they will pass you by. sometimes, if you're lucky, you might not necessarily know it. othertimes, you wallow in regret. the point is this : carpe diem.

Stella's Room

i know i know . . . finally you say! i have had many requests to see the finished product. i still have a few very minor things to do. just some artwork for a few very bare walls. i'm hoping to maybe find something in guatemala . . . so i wanted to keep my options open!


this is her bedding. i got just a generic green with white micro dots fitted sheet from target. i ordered the fabric online and my mother-in-law made the quilt and bumber. it's pretty much perfect.












these are the 'poofs' that hang around her light fixture. i made all of them and they are kindof a pain in the you know what to make :) but they definately make a statement in her room!









don't think i've ever mentioned this before, but stella is named after my great-grandmother. i am a big fan of using old family names (as long as they are appealing). this rocking chair was my great-grandmother's. we also have an old iron bedframe that was her's for stella to use when she moves to a big girl bed. i absolutely love that we have 2 significant things that are tied to the person stella is named after. it warms my heart.









this is kindof a dull picture. i bought a fabulous chair for stella's room at a flea market, but we decided to leave this couch in there because it has a fold out bed. we figure we will be having LOTS more company now and might need the extra bed. my best friend jill got stella the blanket draped across the back. it has orange butterflies stitched to it in felt. we found the little bent fiberglass chair at a flea market.








at the very right you can see a little table. my mother-in-law found it at an estate sale. i refinished it and replaced the knobs. they are green flowers. and of course the famous crib that michael made. it is absolutely PERFECT. the head and bottom are veneered in bamboo and the other 3 sides are painted white to match the rest of her furniture. it also converts to a toddler bed. yes, my husband is amazing. he cooks too!!! why yes, you should be jealous.

















another photo of the crib. the artwork on the wall inspired the colors of the room. michael got me these several years ago for my birthday and i had saved them for this exact purpose.

lastly . . . the dressers in her room are totally not exciting, but they will last for a bit. the lamp on the dresser was my very first purchase for her room (after the artwork of course). i knew i wanted orange to be an accent color and knew i HAD to have that lamp when i found it.

i completely love everything about her room. i think it is my favorite room in the house. that could possibly be because it is the only one that is completely FINISHED. but that is another story for another day! hope you enjoy the photos. next time you see any miss stella will be the focus. which is EXACTLY how it should be.