update - sortof.

well, after I got an email from Melissa wondering if things were ok i decided i should probably post something. things are still moving along . . . very VERY slowly. i've been quite frustrated with the entire thing (and rather down) so i decided to hold off on posting. the shower my friends threw was SO SO SO much fun :) i have the best friends ever. i just wish they all lived closer. i will post pictures soon, i promise. it's really wierd to have baby stuff in the house now. her room is still very bare. i need to start working on it, but haven't felt like doing it just yet. still seems too far away. the video we received was shot the same time as her referral photos and she slept throught the WHOLE thing . . . but we did get to hear her breathe! we got 3 month photos last month and she has already changed so much. it's just so difficult to watch her grow from afar. makes me feel so separate from her.

in good news our credit card was charged for DNA, so hopefully we will find out that tid bit on our next case update (which seem to be coming few and far between). i will try to post her 2 month & 3 month pics soon. work has been IN-SANE lately. as usual. just bogged down with everything this summer. i seem to be traveling and traveling so as soon as i get caught up at work, i'll take some time to add some photo updates :) and of course if any exciting news comes my way you will all hear about it!

shower and other NEWS.

well, on saturday i had my very first baby shower! it was so fun to get stuff for Stella! being the center of attention is never very exciting for me . . . always a little uncomfortable . . . but i still had fun! the food was SO SO GOOD. it was a brunch as the shower was from 1030am till 1230 pm. we had french toast, egg stuffed tortillas with salsa, lots of fruit, spinich quiche, mimosas (EXTRA YUMMY!), and cupcakes of course! there were 2 games that were really cute and wrapped hershey bars as favors. they made me a diaper cake and were the best hostesses ever! after the shower 2 of my friends stayed and we all swam in the pool that afternoon then my parents made us all dinner. i think it was fun for them to have a house full of girls like they used to! we drove back home late that night and made it back a little after midnight. we were all exhausted and i'm still tired today! i'm so so so grateful for my girls! they know me so well and made the shower just as i would've if i had done it myself! i'll post pictures as soon as i can (pics are on my mom's camera).

in OTHER NEWS :
i received an email from our sw this morning telling us that the national office just received VIDEO FOOTAGE of Stella!!!!!!!!!!!! i am SO SO SO SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!! they will be sending it in the mail - nothing like keeping us in suspense! also, we are having a conference call in the morning with our agency director of the guatemala program. i'm trying to make a list of questions to ask about the whole process - any suggestions????

friends. happy.

today, 2 very dear friends of mine are flying in. i am SO SO SO excited to see them! they are throwing me my very first baby shower this saturday. i'm hoping the event will make me feel more like a mom and make the whole thing seem more real. all my friends have been AMAZING throughout this whole ordeal - from the beginning of my infertility to our decision to adopt. they have all been there the whole way. after seeing us go through our adoption process only this far, some of them have decided they want to adopt too. i am one of those women who has never really had alot of GIRL friends. i always had a few really close girls and a bunch of fun guys i hung out with. since i've been out of college and "in the real world" i've thought - ok, so i've met all my LIFETIME friends and i'm ok with that because the ones i have are FABULOUS . . . well, since i've said that i've met TWO MORE fabulous friends who i ALSO consider lifetime friends . . . funny how God has a sense of humor sometimes. i'm completely convinced that when i said that (among other things) he was laughing like crazy. i'm so so so thankful for all the friends i've had in my life and for the ones i have now. they have each contributed to who i am today in their own way. i can't wait for stella to meet you each!

news.

ok. got another "update" on our document status. apparently our dossier has been legalized. apparently 4 of the authentications were printed with streaks on them and our attorney thinks this might would cause a problem in pgn, so the agency is going to redo them. also, our acceptance documents were sent to Guatemala on Friday, June 1. i suppose i would rather have to fix stuff now than get a kick out of pgn for a rediculous reason. then again, i suppose i would also rather have a kick out for some rediculous easy fix than a serious one if i have to have one at all. there i go again, getting ahead of myself. i'm always doing that. worrying about things completely out of my control. no more. not today anyways. WAY TOO MUCH TO DO!!!

**UPDATE**

well, i just got an email from our agency. they just received our acceptance docs back from authentication today. our attorney should have them this week & will then begin translation and legalization. i feel relieved to just hear SOMETHING. although good news is always better than bad news. bring on the good news.

Happy Anniversary.

this post is for michael.

today is our 5th wedding anniversary. i can not believe it's been 5 years since that day . . . this year it has officially been 10 years since we first met. wierd. i honestly feel like the luckiest woman in the whole world. you are the most amazing husband i could have ever hoped for. of course i give you a hard time about things (throwing your clothes on the floor, taking out the garbage, etc.) but i want you to know that i DO KNOW how lucky i am to have you. i love you even more today than i did on the day we were married. you know everything about me and you still love me just the way i am. These are just a FEW of the little things that i love about you :

• your eyes when you smile
• your laugh when i tickle you
• the way you snuggle in the morning
• your hands
• how you love to cook
• the way you throw yourself into the things you love
• your trust and your faith
• the way you are open and welcoming to everyone and anyone
• the way you hold me when i cry
• that you are doing exactly what you want to with your life

the list could go on and on because all the little things are what make you, YOU. you are my husband, my lover, my best friend, my partner. thank you for marrying me. thank you for putting up with me. thank you for loving me. but most of all, thank you for being you. you are going to be the best daddy ever.

we love you SO MUCH - with all of our hearts. Nat & Stella & Meg

Denver.

i just got back last night from Denver. went to see my Jilli. we had grand plans of running in the half marathon on colfax ave . . . but with Jill's knee and my blisters it just didn't work out this year. however, we did get lots accomplished. shopping for items for Jill's wedding in September. i miss her so much! we lived together all through college and haven't lived in the same state since, but she is still my other half. we can still finish each others sentences and sometimes know what the other is thinking. we are wierd, what can I say. it's funny how i miss the little things the most . . . like just having lunch together or going for a run or watching a movie . . . i want Stella to know her and love her like i do. guess we'll be traveling alot.